LOVE CAN HURT - EVERYONE OVERCOMES THE HEARTACHE DIFFERENTLY

Heartache hurts. But what if the broken heart doesn't want to heal at all? Here you can read what type of lovesickness you are and what can best help you to overcome the heartache.

Heartache makes you stronger

Heartache - no one needs it, right? But! Experts say: heartache is important. You need him to be a satisfied single later - and to be able to have a happy relationship again at some point. But suffer really nasty? Feeling like an addict on withdrawal? Yes, that's normal. Heartache and drug withdrawal actually cause very similar brain activity. This is by no means a weakness or even a mental defect. Experts say that the mourning period can take six to twelve months. There is also a lot to learn. About dealing with partners and about yourself. When we suffer, parts of our personality become apparent that we would otherwise not perceive as strongly. If we look after them lovingly, not only will grief pass faster, we will also become stronger.

Heartache type 1: the doubter

She looks for all the guilt and tortures herself with feelings of guilt: If only I had ... She is plagued by self-doubts: What have I done wrong? Am I not lovable? Everyone who has been abandoned knows this to some extent. But when these thoughts are strong, you stand in your way so much that you can no longer look ahead.

This helps to overcome the heartache

Ponder. Yes indeed! But not about what is supposed to be wrong with you. These thoughts are just mean whispers from your strong inner critic. Consistently forbid him to shut up. And think about what went wrong in the relationship. Over time, you will see that it was not as heavenly as you think. And: spoil yourself. Those who are good to themselves, take care of themselves, cook well for themselves and incorporate gentle movement into everyday life, signals to their subconscious: I am valuable.

Heartache type 2: the hopeful

Cut? We? No not true. In our hearts we are connected as deeply as ever. Yes, the hopeful denies, so to speak, the end of the relationship - and its part in it. She seeks close contact with her ex and takes every friendly word as an indication that he will be back soon. Sometimes she also begs and begs. But she rarely talks to friends about this. In general, she withdraws strongly. True to the motto: If I don't talk about the separation, it is less real. In the first shock, many people react to protect themselves from too violent feelings. Psychologists say that this phase is normal - but it must end at some point.

Talk with friends

It is not easy to take off the pink glasses when you don’t think you’re wearing them. Don't try it for now either. Rather, tell yourself: I believe in us so firmly that I can also expose myself to the doubts of friends. Talk to your close friends about your thoughts. Ask them not to be too critical. Gradually the situation and thus your feelings become more tangible for you. Then when the pain comes, you should allow your tears and anger. Are you crying. But start again to dedicate yourself to your life with confidence.

Heartache type 3: the revenge angel

How dare he? He has to pay for that. Yes, the prevailing feeling is anger. And there is a lot of energy in it. In this respect, the desire for revenge and the considerations of how you could pay your ex back are not so bad. They inspire you and awaken your creativity. But they also prevent you from facing your pain. They rage, so to speak, over the fact that it's over. That there is no longer a we.

Let out the anger

Use the rage power. But not to go to war with your ex! Let off steam in a sporty way. Paint the living room, muck out the basement. Whatever, do things that are good for you. This will give you the strength it takes to let go of this man and the relationship. And the power it takes to recognize your own mistakes and learn from them. For a new love - in which you also bring your tender sides.